John Wesley talked about how we can learn from words and wisdom intended for others in his commentary of Israel blessings his sons. It's my fervent wish and prayer that through the struggles I write about in the following prayers even one person would be encouraged, given hope to get up and chase God again. Because the truth is, He's after our hearts, He's chasing us as we wallow in the mud of this life.
**Note: When I have "God's" words in quotes, I am not saying He literally said that to me nor am I claiming those to be the direct words of God (and thereby infallible). Rather, I believe God would say something like that, that those words reflect His heart. But no reflection is perfect and the words I attribute to God are nothing compared to the words He has preserved for us in scripture.
**Note: When I have "God's" words in quotes, I am not saying He literally said that to me nor am I claiming those to be the direct words of God (and thereby infallible). Rather, I believe God would say something like that, that those words reflect His heart. But no reflection is perfect and the words I attribute to God are nothing compared to the words He has preserved for us in scripture.
22:57 MST - November 12th, 2014
Father God, thank You for being steady, steadfast. You are a rock in the storm, a refuge in the chaos. You never change. Lord, You are the same yesterday, today, and forever. Thank You.
Father, tonight I come before Your throne of grace, I come before You as a child, as Your child. Lord, You have said I am a co-heir with Christ with the Holy Spirit in my life as a seal of that promise. I stand in awe, to be so close to You, so inseparable from Your Spirit. Nothing I can do could ever take You away from me.
Father, make my life a life that You desire to be in, that brings joy to You. Lord, give me the strength to love even when the feelings are gone. Thank You for loving me all the time. Thank You for pushing me to move past feelings. Father, feelings come and go but Your love remains unchanging. May I love out of the overflow of Your love in my life. May my love be rooted in the bedrock that is Your promises, Your Word, Your Love, Your Spirit. Lord, teach me to love You first. To set aside human love and cling to a divine love. Lord, when I love You then may You teach me to love others. Father, I will never love You enough, never love You as much as You deserve. But let me love You first. And then, let that love, a reciprocated love from Your love for me, overflow to those around me. Teach me to love those who are easy to love and who are hard to love. Teach me to love when the silence is deafening, when the distance is long, when the hurt is deep, and when the pain is real. Teach me to love because love is all that heals, because grace is the only antidote. Father, teach me to be more like Jesus.
Lord God, be with her tonight. Help me to trust You. Your timing is perfect, Your ways are above my ways, Your love for her runs so much deeper than my own. She is Yours God and always has been. She will forever be Yours. Praise be. You are awesome in Your love and care for her - remind me that You will work this out for good. Teach me, teach her to say "Not my will but Yours be done," no matter how much it hurts. God, You use suffering to reveal to us Who You are. Help us not to miss it. Give us eyes to see what You're showing us and a faith that trusts in You enough to not have to see everything.
Lord, let her know she is loved, cherished, and remembered by the King of kings and Lord of lords tonight. Let her know You are near to her, that Your Spirit lives in her, and may she rest in You tonight Father.
Father, tonight I come before Your throne of grace, I come before You as a child, as Your child. Lord, You have said I am a co-heir with Christ with the Holy Spirit in my life as a seal of that promise. I stand in awe, to be so close to You, so inseparable from Your Spirit. Nothing I can do could ever take You away from me.
Father, make my life a life that You desire to be in, that brings joy to You. Lord, give me the strength to love even when the feelings are gone. Thank You for loving me all the time. Thank You for pushing me to move past feelings. Father, feelings come and go but Your love remains unchanging. May I love out of the overflow of Your love in my life. May my love be rooted in the bedrock that is Your promises, Your Word, Your Love, Your Spirit. Lord, teach me to love You first. To set aside human love and cling to a divine love. Lord, when I love You then may You teach me to love others. Father, I will never love You enough, never love You as much as You deserve. But let me love You first. And then, let that love, a reciprocated love from Your love for me, overflow to those around me. Teach me to love those who are easy to love and who are hard to love. Teach me to love when the silence is deafening, when the distance is long, when the hurt is deep, and when the pain is real. Teach me to love because love is all that heals, because grace is the only antidote. Father, teach me to be more like Jesus.
Lord God, be with her tonight. Help me to trust You. Your timing is perfect, Your ways are above my ways, Your love for her runs so much deeper than my own. She is Yours God and always has been. She will forever be Yours. Praise be. You are awesome in Your love and care for her - remind me that You will work this out for good. Teach me, teach her to say "Not my will but Yours be done," no matter how much it hurts. God, You use suffering to reveal to us Who You are. Help us not to miss it. Give us eyes to see what You're showing us and a faith that trusts in You enough to not have to see everything.
Lord, let her know she is loved, cherished, and remembered by the King of kings and Lord of lords tonight. Let her know You are near to her, that Your Spirit lives in her, and may she rest in You tonight Father.
22:13 MDT - September 6th, 2014
Father God, I'm hurting. There's a whole in my chest where my heart should be. I come before Your throne of grace is desperate need. I come before You with nothing to offer. Yet still You receive me, yet still You welcome me in. Lord, remind me that I never have anything to offer. Even on my best of days I am a fallen, sinful man. Even on my best of days I am still is dire need of grace.
Lord, pour out Your grace on me now. Fill me up, overflow my life with love for others. Teach me to love when it hurts, to love in spite of the pain, to offer grace to those who need it most, to forgive those who deserve it the least. Lord, remind me that I must first show grace and love, forgiveness and kindness. I answer to You alone. It doesn't matter what anyone else does, You hold me to account for my actions.
Father, don't let me be satisfied wit being merely enough. Lord, I desire to be great for You, to be great because of You, to be great in Your strength alone. God, good isn't good enough. Lord, this life is precious and temporary, it's a candle in the wind, a mist in the morning sun. Father, it is only with Your help that I can burn brightly, only with Your help that I can be more than just okay. Lord, don't let me settle for fine, for good enough. Father, give me a hunger for Your perfection. Give me a desire to forgive others because You forgave me, to love because I am first loved by You, to extend grace because Your grace knows no bounds. Lord, let me be Your hands and feet, let me be Your messenger of grace, forgiveness, and love. Father God, Sovereign Lord...whatever it takes use me in Your plan for Your glory.
Father, be with her now. Lord, You know the desires of my heart and I know that I can entrust them to You. Take her, guard her, protect her now as You have always done and will always do. May she rest in Your arms tonight Father as she knows even more what it means to be loved by You.
Lord, pour out Your grace on me now. Fill me up, overflow my life with love for others. Teach me to love when it hurts, to love in spite of the pain, to offer grace to those who need it most, to forgive those who deserve it the least. Lord, remind me that I must first show grace and love, forgiveness and kindness. I answer to You alone. It doesn't matter what anyone else does, You hold me to account for my actions.
Father, don't let me be satisfied wit being merely enough. Lord, I desire to be great for You, to be great because of You, to be great in Your strength alone. God, good isn't good enough. Lord, this life is precious and temporary, it's a candle in the wind, a mist in the morning sun. Father, it is only with Your help that I can burn brightly, only with Your help that I can be more than just okay. Lord, don't let me settle for fine, for good enough. Father, give me a hunger for Your perfection. Give me a desire to forgive others because You forgave me, to love because I am first loved by You, to extend grace because Your grace knows no bounds. Lord, let me be Your hands and feet, let me be Your messenger of grace, forgiveness, and love. Father God, Sovereign Lord...whatever it takes use me in Your plan for Your glory.
Father, be with her now. Lord, You know the desires of my heart and I know that I can entrust them to You. Take her, guard her, protect her now as You have always done and will always do. May she rest in Your arms tonight Father as she knows even more what it means to be loved by You.
14:37 (MDT) 08/16/2014
Father, thank You. Thank You for all that You are. You are the God who brings out the sun each morning, the God who numbers the sparrows outside my window, the God who painted the sky last night, the God who speaks to my restless heart. You are the Creator of all, the Sustainer. Without You God, we would fall away, shriveled like a weed in the desert.
Lord, in the quiet, You are here. In the anxiety and nerves, You are here. Father, be sovereign in my life right now. Lord, I know nothing happens that You didn't plan for, cause, allow. I can't surprise You God. I know that You are keenly aware of my heart, more aware of who I am than I even know. You know me better than i know myself. Lord, without Your guidance, I would have fallen away, wasted and worn out. I would be chasing my tail, caught up in a downward spiral.
Father, thank You for rescuing me, for being gracious and kind enough to pull me out of this mess i made. Lord, i need Your help still, i need You to change me continually, forever. Father, I am so prone to run from You, to fixate upon what I think I want instead of the blessings You bestow. Lord, fix my eyes upon You. Soul, be silent within me. No words, no groans can express what I feel. Yet Lord, You know it, every facet of it, better than I do. And I know You.
I know that You are Love. You sacrificed Your Son, Your very own life for me. You are justice. You didn't change the rules even when it would save You pain. Jesus, You drained to the dregs the cup of God's wrath in my stead. You are Grace. You give me what I don't deserve, what I will never be worthy of. You are Mercy. In crushing Christ, You bought me from the shackles of sin and hell. You are Truth. Your words are always true, what You say Lord will always be. Lord, You are Rest. You are our only hope for finding peace, hope, quiet in this life or the next. Father, praise be to You that You welcome us into Your rest, that You made a way for us to come before You, to lay down our burdens, to draw near to the throne of the Almighty God. Praise be.
Father, let me come before You now. Lord, I feel so unworthy, yet I feel so welcomed in Your presence. Remind me who I am to You, Your beloved. Father, take the burden of anxiety from me. Your will will be done. I know this, I've seen it. Lord, help me to trust You now.
Father, be her strength and calm, her hope and peace. Father, be her father's wisdom and courage, discernment and honor. Lord, be my hope and courage. We all need You now. Bring about Your plans, may we each disappear as You become more.
Lord, in the quiet, You are here. In the anxiety and nerves, You are here. Father, be sovereign in my life right now. Lord, I know nothing happens that You didn't plan for, cause, allow. I can't surprise You God. I know that You are keenly aware of my heart, more aware of who I am than I even know. You know me better than i know myself. Lord, without Your guidance, I would have fallen away, wasted and worn out. I would be chasing my tail, caught up in a downward spiral.
Father, thank You for rescuing me, for being gracious and kind enough to pull me out of this mess i made. Lord, i need Your help still, i need You to change me continually, forever. Father, I am so prone to run from You, to fixate upon what I think I want instead of the blessings You bestow. Lord, fix my eyes upon You. Soul, be silent within me. No words, no groans can express what I feel. Yet Lord, You know it, every facet of it, better than I do. And I know You.
I know that You are Love. You sacrificed Your Son, Your very own life for me. You are justice. You didn't change the rules even when it would save You pain. Jesus, You drained to the dregs the cup of God's wrath in my stead. You are Grace. You give me what I don't deserve, what I will never be worthy of. You are Mercy. In crushing Christ, You bought me from the shackles of sin and hell. You are Truth. Your words are always true, what You say Lord will always be. Lord, You are Rest. You are our only hope for finding peace, hope, quiet in this life or the next. Father, praise be to You that You welcome us into Your rest, that You made a way for us to come before You, to lay down our burdens, to draw near to the throne of the Almighty God. Praise be.
Father, let me come before You now. Lord, I feel so unworthy, yet I feel so welcomed in Your presence. Remind me who I am to You, Your beloved. Father, take the burden of anxiety from me. Your will will be done. I know this, I've seen it. Lord, help me to trust You now.
Father, be her strength and calm, her hope and peace. Father, be her father's wisdom and courage, discernment and honor. Lord, be my hope and courage. We all need You now. Bring about Your plans, may we each disappear as You become more.
12:33pm 04/12/2013
Father God, You are great and awesome. There is no one like You, You stand forever, immutable, shining. Thank You for who You are God, for being a God who is big enough, who is more than enough. Lord, You are amazing.
In your glory Lord, You looked down, found me out, sought my heart, drew me to You. Lord, I am so small, so tiny yet You call me by name. I am Yours and through that alone I have worth. Praise be to You.
Father, thank You for the love You have for me, for all of Your children. Lord, You know the pain that my friends are going through, the despair, the agony, the darkness before them. Father, You walked with me through my darkness, You comforted me when I felt alone, lost, abandoned. Lord, be the comfort, the guide, the listening ear for my friends now. God, my heart breaks for them, my eyes well with tears as I listen to their despair. I hear my own voice all over again – bitter and feeling betrayed. But I know of Your faithfulness God, I know of the depth of Your love, of the greatness of Your compassion and kindness. I know that You are Holy and Awesome, that You are set apart, that for no other reason than Your choice, You love me, You long to hear from me. Lord, I know that You desire that from each of Your children, a close intimate relationship with them. Father, we are weak. We need You to close the gap that sin has made, to give us the strength to draw near to You in Spirit and in truth.
Lord, I pray that You would not let us despair but give us hope to carry on for Your grace is enough, Your love never fails, Your kindness is renewed with the morning sun.
In your glory Lord, You looked down, found me out, sought my heart, drew me to You. Lord, I am so small, so tiny yet You call me by name. I am Yours and through that alone I have worth. Praise be to You.
Father, thank You for the love You have for me, for all of Your children. Lord, You know the pain that my friends are going through, the despair, the agony, the darkness before them. Father, You walked with me through my darkness, You comforted me when I felt alone, lost, abandoned. Lord, be the comfort, the guide, the listening ear for my friends now. God, my heart breaks for them, my eyes well with tears as I listen to their despair. I hear my own voice all over again – bitter and feeling betrayed. But I know of Your faithfulness God, I know of the depth of Your love, of the greatness of Your compassion and kindness. I know that You are Holy and Awesome, that You are set apart, that for no other reason than Your choice, You love me, You long to hear from me. Lord, I know that You desire that from each of Your children, a close intimate relationship with them. Father, we are weak. We need You to close the gap that sin has made, to give us the strength to draw near to You in Spirit and in truth.
Lord, I pray that You would not let us despair but give us hope to carry on for Your grace is enough, Your love never fails, Your kindness is renewed with the morning sun.
10:44am 08/30/2012
Lord, You know my frustration. You know how my heart beats faster now with anger – anger at myself, and at others. But Lord, this is not a time for anger. In this moment my anger serves no purpose but to drive me from You into a land of self righteousness. I am not righteous, I am a sinner. But God, I am Your child as well. In the midst of my sin, you came down, lived a perfect life, loved perfectly, and died to take my sin from me. You imparted Your righteousness to me, You drank the cup of God’s wrath and have given me the cup of Your favor to drink from. Lord, I am unworthy. But it is not about worth, it’s about love, Your Love. And in the light of the truth of Your love...nothing else matters. Sins are washed away, old hearts and made new, corruption is clothed with incorruption and life begins. Thank You God. May Your love be the truth forever on my lips, may my words be honoring and glorifying to You, may my deeds point others to You Father, so that they may praise Your Holy and Awesome name. Lord, may my thoughts be a constant prayer and joyous offering to You. Lord, You have made me, redeemed me, bought me, chosen me, loved me. God, whatever it takes, may I do everything I can by the strength of Your grace to thank You for that. Lord, my life is Yours. Use me as You will for nothing else compares to knowing You.
8:18am 06/17/2012
God, I need You. My soul is weary, my eyes are red with tears. My heart is breaking, my fears threaten to overwhelm me. Lord, I’m scared. I scared that I won’t be able to follow You as I should. I’m scared that I’m going to have to choose and that I’ll be tempted to not choose You. Lord, I feel like the moth ever flying into the glass and missing the open door beside me. God, show me the open door, show me Your way. Give me the courage to sing with the hymn writer “it is well with my soul.” Give me the strength to choose You no matter what. God, take any desire I have that is not of You, take them and burn them outside the city in the designated place for what is unclean. Take my sins from me, God, I need You to lift me up. Focus my eyes on eternity, may I hunger only for You. May this world, may the loves and hopes and dreams of my world come crashing down in light of You. Lord, give me clean hands and a pure heart. May I lift my soul to You and You alone God. In the midst of the fire, when the arrows rain down around me God I will trust in You – make it so. Help me to cast down my idols and to seek You first. Lord, may my comfort never determine my actions, may my desires be made slaves to You and may Your desires be the cry of my heart. Show me Your truth revealed in Your word. Holy Spirit, teach me what is true and noble, honorable and just, righteous and excellent, praiseworthy and Godly. May nothing else come into my heart to usurp Your rule Lord. May I be a child who seeks Your face God of Jacob, God of Israel and Isaac. God, You have proven Yourself faithful, you have proven that Your love is better than life, that nothing I have, no gift of Yours is as good as You. Lord, help me to know that with my head and my heart. Help me to act, to do as if eternity is all that matters. Lord, being with You, being known by You is what matters – no human’s love could ever come close.
Take her Lord, guide her, for I cannot lead her as You can. I cannot love her the way You do, she cannot love me the way You do. May my hope and her hope be in you alone. God, if it be Your will, then give me the strength to walk away and chase only You. But Lord, I ask, I beg, that if this romance is from You that it would glorify You in every aspect, that You would be the focus, the center, the shining crown and glory of both our lives. Lord, give me the strength to let her go, give me the truth that only You can. Show me my next step Lord and help me to walk in it. I need not see the path so long as You are near me. Lord, when You walk beside me You enable my next step, You give me the courage to go on. May You be my only source of courage, my only hope, my only love. May my love for her be as hate in comparison to my love for You God.
You are my redeemer God, You have made me and bought me at the cost of Your blood. You died in my place, You endured the cross that I deserved. My sin drove You to Your death but Your love conquered the grave. Father, You sent Jesus, Your only begotten Son to die for me. I am unworthy. But it’s not about worth, it’s about love. It’s about You and Your love. Nothing else, no one else can take that away. Lord, let me live, let my actions reflect this truth.
God, she is yours. If You permit, if You lead us together, may it be. If You do not permit, if You lead us apart, may it be.
My Father, You are in heaven. Your name is to be revered and honored for it is Holy. May your kingdom come, may You rule in my heart here on earth as You rule in heaven. Your will be done in my life no matter what the cost God. For Your will endures, Your precepts are everlasting. Lord, give me today what I need to trust You, teach me to depend wholly on You, may I rest only in You. Forgive me of my sins, of seeking others before You. Lord, teach me to forgive out of the overflow of grace You have poured out on me. Deliver me from the evil I hold inside, from the lies of the devil that seek to steal me away from Your love. For to You all glory and honor, power and praise belongs. Now and forever more. Amen.
Take her Lord, guide her, for I cannot lead her as You can. I cannot love her the way You do, she cannot love me the way You do. May my hope and her hope be in you alone. God, if it be Your will, then give me the strength to walk away and chase only You. But Lord, I ask, I beg, that if this romance is from You that it would glorify You in every aspect, that You would be the focus, the center, the shining crown and glory of both our lives. Lord, give me the strength to let her go, give me the truth that only You can. Show me my next step Lord and help me to walk in it. I need not see the path so long as You are near me. Lord, when You walk beside me You enable my next step, You give me the courage to go on. May You be my only source of courage, my only hope, my only love. May my love for her be as hate in comparison to my love for You God.
You are my redeemer God, You have made me and bought me at the cost of Your blood. You died in my place, You endured the cross that I deserved. My sin drove You to Your death but Your love conquered the grave. Father, You sent Jesus, Your only begotten Son to die for me. I am unworthy. But it’s not about worth, it’s about love. It’s about You and Your love. Nothing else, no one else can take that away. Lord, let me live, let my actions reflect this truth.
God, she is yours. If You permit, if You lead us together, may it be. If You do not permit, if You lead us apart, may it be.
My Father, You are in heaven. Your name is to be revered and honored for it is Holy. May your kingdom come, may You rule in my heart here on earth as You rule in heaven. Your will be done in my life no matter what the cost God. For Your will endures, Your precepts are everlasting. Lord, give me today what I need to trust You, teach me to depend wholly on You, may I rest only in You. Forgive me of my sins, of seeking others before You. Lord, teach me to forgive out of the overflow of grace You have poured out on me. Deliver me from the evil I hold inside, from the lies of the devil that seek to steal me away from Your love. For to You all glory and honor, power and praise belongs. Now and forever more. Amen.
7:56am June 2nd 2012
Lord, today please, let me fall in love with You and only You. May the world fade away, may Your revealed beauty not distract me from seeking Your heart God. Draw me in, pull me close. May nothing come in between us today nor any other day. May my eyes focus on You and only You. May my love for You be so great that my love for the world, for others, for my family, and for her be as hate in comparison. Lord, chase after my heart for I can not chase after You enough. God, seek me out. You died for me Lord, make that truth so evident in my life today that I am forced to stop and praise You. May Your love overflow and ooze out, may those I encounter today not see me Lord, may they see You. God, I need You. I'm scared of trying to live life with Jesus on the side. Lord, be the main course, the focus, the goal of my life. In every area, make my heart submit to You Lord. Holy Spirit, do not let me be pulled away to other gods but draw me to the One True God. Continue the work that You have started in me, never leave me, never forsake me, take me as I am but do not leave me here. Make me Yours. Lord thank You for answering my prayer, for loving me more than anyone else ever could. Remind me of You and your truth today.
1:57pm May 18th 2012
Lord, You are. In the chaos You sit on Your throne. In the confusion You are peace. In the hurricane, You are my Anchor, my Safety. You are the spring of life in a dry and barren land. Lord, Your love is better than life. Your steadfast love is enough for me. Make my heart feel that Lord. I know it but I don’t always feel that You are enough. Show me the error of my ways, test my heart, purify me by fire, wash me with Your blood, break me and re-build me. Teach me Your ways Lord, show me Your truths. Guide in in paths of righteousness that Your name might be praised, that You might be honored and glorified in my life. Humble me Lord , strip away my pride, tear off my boasting, remove my arrogance. Lord make me, mold me. Take my heart God, place my treasure in heaven and set my eyes upon Your throne. Help me daily take up my cross, help me daily deny myself, cause me to fade away, to play the background as You take the focus.
Lord, You know the anxieties that plague me now. Holy Spirit I pray for a peace that surpasses understanding. Jesus teach me to pray as Your prayed “Not My will but Yours be done.” Father help me to seek You will first, help me to thirst for Your decrees, to chase after Your laws, to seek Your understanding. Lord calm this anxious heart.
Soul, be still and know that He is God. He is Alpha and Omega, beginning and end, infinite in wisdom, perfect in power, never ceasing in love, abounding in strength. Be still restless heart. Know that He is God. Why do you worry soul, why do you quake with fear heart? Do you not know that the Lord is God, the Lord is One. He will repay, He will provide, He will strengthen and His name will be praised. The rocks will cry out, creation will sing. If you but calm yourselves and wait upon the Lord He will show Himself. He will reveal His splendor. I will know Him truly as He knows me fully. Soul, heart be not down trodden. Look not to my interests, look to those around me. Seek His face first, rejoice in His wonder and majesty. No worry or trouble, no mistake or sin can stand in the light of His presence. Yearn, pant, gasp for His presence. Chase after His light with all you are.
Lord, I need You. Come to me Lord, be my everything. I am nothing without You. Whatever it takes God…Lord have Your way with me.
Lord, You know the anxieties that plague me now. Holy Spirit I pray for a peace that surpasses understanding. Jesus teach me to pray as Your prayed “Not My will but Yours be done.” Father help me to seek You will first, help me to thirst for Your decrees, to chase after Your laws, to seek Your understanding. Lord calm this anxious heart.
Soul, be still and know that He is God. He is Alpha and Omega, beginning and end, infinite in wisdom, perfect in power, never ceasing in love, abounding in strength. Be still restless heart. Know that He is God. Why do you worry soul, why do you quake with fear heart? Do you not know that the Lord is God, the Lord is One. He will repay, He will provide, He will strengthen and His name will be praised. The rocks will cry out, creation will sing. If you but calm yourselves and wait upon the Lord He will show Himself. He will reveal His splendor. I will know Him truly as He knows me fully. Soul, heart be not down trodden. Look not to my interests, look to those around me. Seek His face first, rejoice in His wonder and majesty. No worry or trouble, no mistake or sin can stand in the light of His presence. Yearn, pant, gasp for His presence. Chase after His light with all you are.
Lord, I need You. Come to me Lord, be my everything. I am nothing without You. Whatever it takes God…Lord have Your way with me.
11:34pm may 7th, 2012
God, I asked You to show me, to make it work out or to close the door. And You closed the door. Why do I still struggle? Why does my heart seek to rebel? Do I really think I know better than You what’s best for me? Every
path You’ve led me down has been the best place for me, the best times of my life. Yet here I am, asking You to prove Yourself, prove to me that You’re God. Lord, rip that out of me. Crush my world again, destroy my pride, take away by resentment, renew a steadfast heart in me O God. Teach me Your decrees, show me Your Word, envelop me in Your presence, make Yourself my obsession. God, my heart is so quick to rebel, so quick to turn away. I am fickle. And I am so tired of it God. I search for fulfillment outside of You, I try to fill this hole in my heart with everything except You. With challenges, with tests for You but not with You, not with Your essence, Your presence, not with you. God forgive me for that. Remind me how high the bar is set, how impossible it is for me to live as Christ did. But then Lord, if it be Your will, take me hand, walk with me, hold me close, take my finger and don’t let go, live out life with me God. Please. I need You, I can’t do this on my own. I’m so lost, so empty, so worthless without You in my life. God take me from myself. Replace this heart prone to running away with a new heart. God, bind me like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to You. Set my heart on fire for You God. May I be like David if
you will it, may I be after Your own heart, Your Being, Your Ontos. You’ve placed eternity in my heart God, fill that longing within me. Help me to take up my cross every day, Lord may I die to myself and Live for You. Truly Live. help me to keep from going through the motions, to keep from doubting You, to keep from testing You God. Reveal to me Your truth, may You replace my lies with Your goodness, Your love, Your truth, Your beauty. God make me less that You may increase. You have made my joy complete, I have heard your voice…take me back to that Joy, make Yourself my obsession. God I need You. I need You so much right now. I’m lost and broken, hurting and scared. You are the God of Strength, of Power, of Righteousness, of Holiness, of Grace, of Mercy, of Sovereignty, of
Kindness, of Love, of Gentleness, of Meekness, of Humility. God be all that in my life right now. Take me Lord. Forgive me.
God, thank You. Thank You for Your Son, for His death to free me from my sin. For Your Spirit working
here with me, right now, in this very room. God You haven’t left me. You’ve been
right here, next to me, forever. Thank You. Thank You.
path You’ve led me down has been the best place for me, the best times of my life. Yet here I am, asking You to prove Yourself, prove to me that You’re God. Lord, rip that out of me. Crush my world again, destroy my pride, take away by resentment, renew a steadfast heart in me O God. Teach me Your decrees, show me Your Word, envelop me in Your presence, make Yourself my obsession. God, my heart is so quick to rebel, so quick to turn away. I am fickle. And I am so tired of it God. I search for fulfillment outside of You, I try to fill this hole in my heart with everything except You. With challenges, with tests for You but not with You, not with Your essence, Your presence, not with you. God forgive me for that. Remind me how high the bar is set, how impossible it is for me to live as Christ did. But then Lord, if it be Your will, take me hand, walk with me, hold me close, take my finger and don’t let go, live out life with me God. Please. I need You, I can’t do this on my own. I’m so lost, so empty, so worthless without You in my life. God take me from myself. Replace this heart prone to running away with a new heart. God, bind me like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to You. Set my heart on fire for You God. May I be like David if
you will it, may I be after Your own heart, Your Being, Your Ontos. You’ve placed eternity in my heart God, fill that longing within me. Help me to take up my cross every day, Lord may I die to myself and Live for You. Truly Live. help me to keep from going through the motions, to keep from doubting You, to keep from testing You God. Reveal to me Your truth, may You replace my lies with Your goodness, Your love, Your truth, Your beauty. God make me less that You may increase. You have made my joy complete, I have heard your voice…take me back to that Joy, make Yourself my obsession. God I need You. I need You so much right now. I’m lost and broken, hurting and scared. You are the God of Strength, of Power, of Righteousness, of Holiness, of Grace, of Mercy, of Sovereignty, of
Kindness, of Love, of Gentleness, of Meekness, of Humility. God be all that in my life right now. Take me Lord. Forgive me.
God, thank You. Thank You for Your Son, for His death to free me from my sin. For Your Spirit working
here with me, right now, in this very room. God You haven’t left me. You’ve been
right here, next to me, forever. Thank You. Thank You.
God....ugh. Why are people...people? Why are we so stinking sinful, so quick to choose ourselves over You? Why am I constantly fighting for control of my own mind, my own thoughts? It's like there's something living inside of me that I can't control. Something that does the opposite of what I know is pure, good, and right. God I look around at people, people You made...and I cast judgment on them. I classify them before I even hear their voice or see their eyes. I assign them values and priorities based on their clothes, on the way they walk and not on their heart, not on them. I am so...despicable. A wretch. What do they think of me? That I'm harsh, proud, and not trustworthy? Are they that right about who I am from just seeing me? I know my thoughts God, and I hate them. I hate the evil that reverberates inside my head. I hate the lust that clouds my vision whenever a girl walks by. I hate the anger that clenches my fists whenever a guy walks by. God....remind me that the people I pass are Your children. That YOU love them just as much as You love me. God, help me to grasp that, to see others with even a sliver of the love You see them with. God, remind me that I am Yours, that You made me this way for a reason and that You will give me the strength that I need to overcome my pride, my lust, my anger, my judgment. You and only You. Lord, please, help me to stop beating myself up over every loss in this war, help me to let go of the past and seek the future while being fully here in the present. God, help me to see me as You see me: flawed, sinful, yet right through the blood of Christ.
God, I need your wisdom. There’s so much that I don’t understand,
so many questions I have as I walk through life. I find myself at a crossroads
and I don’t know which way to go. Lord, help me understand what Your will is,
help me to be able to discern that still small voice inside that whispers Your
truth. Guide me in the footsteps You would have me walk in Lord. I’m scared to
move for fear of messing up again, I’ve let myself become tied down with worry.
Lord cut these ropes of anxiety with the double edged sword of truth, I pray
that You would grant me Your wisdom for each day, for each moment. Take away
any self-reliant urge I have and teach me to trust You entirely.
God, why? Why have I run from You? Why do I keep running? Why do you love me when I hurt Your children, when I ravish Your daughters in my heart, when I defame Your name? God I am so unworthy, so low, so base, so sinful…how can You stand to have me call out Your name even? Yet You invite me before Your throne where the angels cry out Your praises, where the ground trembles, where the saints cast their crowns before You….in the midst of all Your glory You look down and choose me. Me, a trembling, hapless, sinful fool. Me, an undeserving wretch, a blind, begging leper. You offer me forgiveness, not just forgiveness…You don’t just cancel my debt…You pay it. God why? You - Holy, Righteous, Pure, Just, Infinite, Timeless, Almighty, Wonderful, Awesome, Love –You pay my debt, You take my sins upon Your shoulders, whipped and beaten and look on me with compassion, mercy, grace. As Your eyes of kindness meet my eyes of filth and dirt….I feel ashamed. It’s my fault the Creator of the Universe is hanging on a wooden cross, beaten beyond recognition, dying for me. I want to pay my own debt, to take the just punishment for my mistakes. Maybe then this guilt will fall away. Mabe then I can forgive myself for the pain I’ve caused, maybe then I won’t have torn apart hearts and shattered friendships, maybe then God Your children that You put in my life can be whole again. But those eyes…those eyes of undeserved forgiveness….I can’t pay my debt, I can’t undo my sin, I can’t rebuild the walls and hearts I’ve destroyed. But You can. You take my sin, You lift me up, You show me the sunrise, You clothe me in robes of white and offer me a home. Though I am undeserving of anything, God You give me everything. Why? Why me? Why did You die, why did You suffer, agonize for the sake of my soul, my grotesque, rotten, dead soul? Why did You make me in the first place? Why did You waste Your time on a soul like mine? But somehow, midst the cries of the angels, midst the praises of the saints, midst the rumblings of thunder and flashes of lightning, midst the screams of the angry mod – “Crucify Him!” - midst mockery and insults, midst my own questions You reach down, You lift up my chin, You help me up though in paying for my sin You can barely stand yourself. You set me on my feet and give me purpose, give my life meaning. I owe everything to You and You ask for it all, for all that I am to be given in service for the sake of Your name, Your glory. That I can understand, You demand it all….but at the same time there’s a quiet whisper in Your eyes of love; I can’t give it all, I’m unable to give you even a fraction of what You’ve given me and the harder I try the worse it becomes. The longer I strive to earn Your grace, the harder it is for You to give it to me. The harder I try to deserve Your loving forgiveness the harder my heart grows. There is a paradox – I have to let go of everything, to let go of my guilt, my sin, my shame and fall into your hands. God, I’m not strong enough, I’m scared. I can’t let go….
“Child, son, that’s you talking, listen to My voice, hold onto My hand. Let go of this life, the best you can do is but a shadow of the life I have for you. Your mistakes are gone, I paid for them at Calvary, stop bringing them up again, I’ve given you forgiveness and new life, why do you keep blaming yourself? Do you think you could mess up My plan? Even in your sin, I was in control, even when you were hurting My children, I was healing them, I AM. Now come, let go of this life, enjoy the moments while they last but don’t hold on to them above Me. I give you what you need when you need it for the sake of My Glorious Name, for the sake of My Son, for the honor of the Holy Spirit. Trust Me. Trust Me when life is going the way you want it to, trust Me even when you mess up, stop wallowing in your sin and shame and let Me forgive you, cleanse you, and give you a new hope. Trust me to care for my other children as well. I AM the Almighty, I know My children, I know the stars in the sky, the sparrows of the field, the mice in their holes, I know my sons, I know my daughters. I love them with everything I am, I give them what is best for their life. I put My sons, My daughters in your life for a reason, a reason beyond what you can understand. Trust Me. Stop clinging to the shreds of what I gave you yesterday, stop beating yourself up over shredding My gifts, I’ve forgiven you. Come, hold My hand, live in My house, listen to My heartbeat, rest in My arms and see, see the joys I want to give you: the wonder of knowing an infinite God, the awe of being loved by My Son, the comfort of having My Holy Spirit with you wherever you go. Trust Me, I AM the Lord Your God, I brought you out of the darkness and into the light, stop longing for the dark again and open your eyes to wonder and awe. Trust Me…just trust.”
“Child, son, that’s you talking, listen to My voice, hold onto My hand. Let go of this life, the best you can do is but a shadow of the life I have for you. Your mistakes are gone, I paid for them at Calvary, stop bringing them up again, I’ve given you forgiveness and new life, why do you keep blaming yourself? Do you think you could mess up My plan? Even in your sin, I was in control, even when you were hurting My children, I was healing them, I AM. Now come, let go of this life, enjoy the moments while they last but don’t hold on to them above Me. I give you what you need when you need it for the sake of My Glorious Name, for the sake of My Son, for the honor of the Holy Spirit. Trust Me. Trust Me when life is going the way you want it to, trust Me even when you mess up, stop wallowing in your sin and shame and let Me forgive you, cleanse you, and give you a new hope. Trust me to care for my other children as well. I AM the Almighty, I know My children, I know the stars in the sky, the sparrows of the field, the mice in their holes, I know my sons, I know my daughters. I love them with everything I am, I give them what is best for their life. I put My sons, My daughters in your life for a reason, a reason beyond what you can understand. Trust Me. Stop clinging to the shreds of what I gave you yesterday, stop beating yourself up over shredding My gifts, I’ve forgiven you. Come, hold My hand, live in My house, listen to My heartbeat, rest in My arms and see, see the joys I want to give you: the wonder of knowing an infinite God, the awe of being loved by My Son, the comfort of having My Holy Spirit with you wherever you go. Trust Me, I AM the Lord Your God, I brought you out of the darkness and into the light, stop longing for the dark again and open your eyes to wonder and awe. Trust Me…just trust.”
