Until then, I stole the following thought from a friend today. You be the judge of whether or not I should return it.
When writing, paper characters don't have depth. You need aluminum characters because then they can be foils.
So I'm working on a poem that's nearly done but the ending isn't what I want it to be yet. It will be posted when finished.
Until then, I stole the following thought from a friend today. You be the judge of whether or not I should return it. When writing, paper characters don't have depth. You need aluminum characters because then they can be foils.
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Magpies are rather interesting creatures - they eat for breakfast what I wouldn't touch any time of the day. And they always seem to eat in groups.
The worst part of the Christmas season is either angry shoppers or awful Christmas songs played on repeat. I can't figure out which is worse. It is an honor to be chosen. I've said it before and I'll probably say it again - it is the height of arrogance to tell someone who they are. It is the height of folly to ignore those words entirely. Often what people tell us about ourselves is what we least want to hear and most need to hear. Listening well makes others feel important. Asking about what they told you weeks later lets them know they are important. There is no 100% reliable mobile OS. Android, Windows Phone, iOS...they all have their fun little quirks to drive you up the wall. It is amazing what a positive environment can do for your outlook. Even subtle, subconscious reminders about God do wonders. Buying a gift for $5 instead of the regular $30...yeah, I like it too. Wisdom is oft found in places we forget to look for it. While I might be the Black Knight and thus confused with Batman (the Dark Knight) I find I relate to Spiderman (not a knight) quite a bit as well. I wonder if my computer ever has an identity crisis due to simultaneous Batman and Spiderman wallpapers. o.O No, this is not a post about actual, physical swords. Although that is something I would do (it fits with the name, right? :)
This is a post from a couple of recent conversations and Sunday school classes about how there are tools, emotions, character traits that can be used for good or ill. The thing is not the deciding factor, its use is. Take hatred, the opposite of love. Is hatred bad? That seems like an easy question to answer on the surface but let's go a little deeper. The Apostle Paul, speaking with authority provided by the Holy Spirit actually tells us to hate. "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." (Romans 12: 9 - 16) In the midst of giving practical examples of how to love each other, we are told to hate. One aspect of love is hating evil. So hate in and of itself, isn't bad. How hate is applied, what we hate, determines whether or not hate is good or bad. Or take our own personal strengths and weaknesses (I wrote about this earlier when talking about my hero complex if you feel so inspired to dig through my old blog posts). Being an easy going person is good until we're so easy going that we've become apathetic and slothful. Taking responsibility is good but when we feel guilty for events beyond our control we're denying God His rightful sovereignty in our hearts. Success in our endeavors is a gift from God but if we start to trust ourselves we've completely missed His blessing. Using the gifts God has given us is our duty but when we try to use those gifts apart from God..."we often fall off on one side or the other. Good thing we have an incredible God who knows our strengths and weaknesses and has a purpose and a plan for them." (I'm quoting a good friend of mine who summed up what I hoped to say far better than I could have said it). Life is full of double edged swords - what we do with them is what matters. In the words of Extreme Days: "When God throws a curve ball, don't duck. You just might miss something." Selfless (Far Beyond My Reach) The Black Knight The crash of glinted waves resounds Trembling this sandy beach No humanity for miles around I’m far beyond my reach. Sunlight dances on the rippling water A near perfect reflection of a sunset sky Inviting me to take a few steps farther And gaze upon my reflection from on high. Ego on one side whispers, “You’re entitled.” Selfishness seems to snicker, Devils dancing in his smile. But on the other side I hear A still quiet voice Generosity breathes in my ear, “You don’t have to. Make the choice.” I’m caught and torn with indecision As the battle rages in my head Striving for the right decision Mulling over what each have said And while I stood there deciding The sun sunk further down I put an end to my abiding And on the beach turned around, Greeted by trees’ clapping hands For my decision upon the sand It took reflections for me to see There’s more to life than just me. So this poem is a poem I have to blame my best friend for; however, I can't remember all the details. Amnesia....gotta love it. It was the last period of the day and our only class together that semester. Being the passive aggressive person that I am I decided that I'd rather write a poem instead of take notes in US History. Now here's where my memory fails. I either asked my best friend for a character trait or a visual...I want to say I asked him for a character trait to write about but I forget for sure. Anyways, he either gave me a character trait or the visual of standing on a shore. So class starts and I start writing. For some reason the word glinted had to be in this poem. I wanted to capture the sight of waves crashing on the shore with the sun golden through the tops of the waves, underneath the white foam, giving way to blue and navy lower down. So as I'm writing I realize that the character trait that he gave me to write about isn't quite what my poem was about. (I'm 90% sure he gave me a character trait). But I don't actually write poems, I just record the words as the poems write themselves. Even though the poem wasn't turning out the way I intended it to turn out I just kept putting down the words on the page. The visual I had in my head for the main part of the poem is a lone silhouette standing on the beach. He was there watching the waves but as the wind stilled and the waves stopped this narcissistic urge to go admire himself in the water comes out of nowhere. On the one hand he's been told all his life that he's entitled. On the other hand, it's just his reflection that he's see so many times. Why gaze at your own beauty when God's creation is all around you? So with the sunset before him, there's a battle raging in his mind for what's supposed to happen next. Now, I wrote this never having seen a sunset over the water. Now that I have seen one, I realize that it rivals sunsets over mountains (still my personal favorite). The struggle remains - is it worth walking to the shoreline and looking at yourself in the water or is it better to turn your eyes upward to the horizon and see the beauty that God places there? Really though, this is a metaphor for all of life. Is it better to do what pleases you, what you feel entitled to or is it better to turn and help someone else?
In the end, the protagonist ends up deciding to turn away from himself. It's a physical action - sure, it's easy to say in your heart "I'm selfless" but to really be selfless you have to live it out. You can't be selfless as a reclusive hermit. There's no one but you to be there for. Selflessness can only be found in the company of others. The ending of the poem is decidedly a loaded metaphor: it took reflections for me to see there's more to life than just me. Until we stop and reflect, really take the time to look at our lives and the lives of those around us we're going to be selfish. It's our sinful nature. We are born selfish, we live selfish, we die selfish but for the grace of God. Even with God's grace the temptation is to be selfish. Do we look at God's salvation as something owed to us or a gift freely given by God? If we answer the second choice, how do we show that answer? Is it enough to just say it, to preach it from the pulpit and street corners? We have to live out our choice. That's the only way for us to truly know that it's really our choice. I can say that I believe God's grace is a gift freely given to everyone but what am I doing to truly live that out? Do I stand upon the shore and turn away from myself for the sake of others? Thanksgiving day. A day of giving thanks before consumerism raises its ugly head tomorrow. But complaining really isn't giving thanks, is it? So for today's post I'm going to go stream of thought for some of what I am thankful for in my life.
The chance to worship with my family today. A back healed enough to play pickup football. A job. A friend whom I've never met. Memories. An uncertain future held by a certain God. The joy of children. Food. Siblings who help me to see areas I need to work on in my life. Forgiveness. Time and space. Hope. My mentors. My church family. The ability to splurge on a friend every so often. Ideas for Christmas gifts. The hole in my heart that reminds me I'm alive and living life the way that I best can. My new phone. My parents who love me and put up with all my antics. My cousins who ask about my life and genuinely care. The chance to encourage someone I've never met before. The changing seasons of life. A meeting with one friend turning into a meeting with them and three of their other friends. My mom who makes a mean gluten free gravy. My dad who chooses his words wisely. My grandpa who I'm named after. My other grandpa who calls me up to talk about knives. My grandmas who I can't wait to see again. Extended family who welcome me like I've never been gone. School (even if I complain about it more than I should). My car that's now running smoothly again. And most of all, my God Who saw fit to save me, to give me purpose and direction in this life, and Who will one day call me home to a place I've never been. Praise be. I'd like to take credit for these thoughts but they're really not mine - I'm pulling inspiration for this blog post from an excellent movie called Extreme Days and from a World Leadership Summit from a few years back hosted by Willow Springs church.
In Extreme Days there's a poignant scene where one of the main characters if telling her story from when her dad left to try and let Cory know that she kind of understood how he's feeling since his grandpa died. Cory isn't buying it and sarcastically remarks "Well, hallelujah. Amen. So, you gonna take me to church now Jessie?" Will, a mutual friend of both of them, replies "She just did." I love that scene. Yes, it's hard to watch because I know what it's like to loose a grandparent. Yes, it's hard to watch because no dad should ever leave their children. But this life was never supposed to be easy for us. The world is sinful, trouble will come our way. Jesus told His disciples the night which He was betrayed "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33b, NIV) Take heart, Jesus has overcome this world. Or, in Jessie's words "God understood." Yes, there's trouble but we need not fear. Jessie wasn't trying to solve Cory's pain. We can't solve people's pain in this life. Pain is a necessary aftereffect of sin. Church doesn't take away the pain and trouble of this life. Only God can do that and from what I've seen, His chosen method for taking away our pain is the death of His children in this life, a death precious in His sight (Psalm 116:15). No, what church does do is surround us with people who point us to the cross, to heaven's throne. Church helps us hold in tension the pain of this life and the promise of unparalleled joy in the next. Church is our brothers and sisters in Christ walking by our side through the good and the bad of this life. Church isn't limited to a building, time, or people. Church is happening all around us if we take the time to see it. Church is a college student taking a middle schooler out to coffee. Church is meeting new people when originally planning on spending time with an old friend. Church is buying someone Starbucks out of the blue. Church is praying for a complete stranger. Church is wishing someone a Happy Thanksgiving via text when they can't make it to class. Church is spending half an hour talking about nothing with someone four years younger than you. Church is writing your mom a note letting her know that you love her. Church is handing out turkeys and serving a hot meal to families who otherwise couldn't afford a big Thanksgiving celebration. Church is helping run the slides for the Sunday service. Church is sending thank you notes to people That's what church is. Church is the body of Christ living life together and honoring God at the same time. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I'm probably one of the few people who worry about this happening. I might be wrong (it does happen far more often than I'd like). But I'm guessing that most people don't worry about smiling too much and freaking other people out by it.
For instance, last night I was meeting a friend for coffee. I got there early, ordered my decaf vanilla latte, and claimed a table. In the table kitty-corner to where I was sitting, there was a college aged girl out with a middle school aged girl. They were talking with the familiarity of close friends but a reserved nature typically seen in mentor-mentoree relationships. I didn't listen in on their conversation per-say but I couldn't help but overhear some snapshots now and then. The younger lady was talking about how she dealt with anger by praying until...(and then I didn't hear the rest). I couldn't help it, I started smiling from ear to ear. Less than 6 feet from where I was sitting two of my sisters in Christ were sharpening each other like iron sharpens iron. The college aged lady replied back with a personal anecdote and the conversation continued on. My smiling continued as well. So there I am, sipping my decaf vanilla latte, trying to concentrate on my reading, and smiling like its Christmas morning. And you know what, in a sense it was Christmas morning. As I sat there I had prayed for their conversation - that it might edify them and bring glory to God - and here was a gift of an answer. But anyway, back to the topic of this blog. What would you have thought as a middle school girl (or guy if you're not of the fairer gender) had you seen an obviously older looking male sitting by himself in a coffee shop, smiling in response to your conversation? Then again, may she would have thought it was what I was reading that was causing me to smile. But maybe not. She was telling this to a trusted mentor, not some stranger whom she's never seen before. And let's face it, talking about how you deal with anger isn't exactly a normal conversation to have with strangers. So there I sat for another 5 or so minutes until my friends showed up, unable to stop smiling and worrying that I was going to disrupt my sisters in Christ. Like I said, I'm pretty sure that I'm one of the few, if not the only person who worries about smiling too much. Or maybe it's just smiling at inappropriate moments that worries me. Hhhmmm.... I'll admit it, I like numbers. I'm a geek and a sucker for faster processors, more memory. In sports I love seeing more scores (for my team), better stats, faster times, bigger crowds. I get a kick out of thinking that some of what I do for my job is seen by big companies, corporations, and coaches. I like numbers. Bigger, faster, stronger, more.
But numbers always leave you wanting more or feeling unfulfilled. Is it a success if you didn't get as many last time? Can fewer be better? My gut reaction is to say no, more is always better. Except in golf, hearts, and the cost of repairs on my car. Each time I do something I should be faster, produce more, get a bigger turnout. Bigger, faster, stronger, more. But that's so...empty. If you're always seeking the best of this world, you'll always be disappointed. There's always a bigger fish. And even in the rare case that there isn't a bigger fish...you'll be constantly looking over your shoulder wondering when your fish is going to atrophy and be swallowed up by a formerly smaller fish. Despite the Michigan Wolverines being the winning-est college football program in American history, everyone's talking about Notre Dame and the SEC this year. Despite Al Gore's, John Kerry's, John McCain's, and Mitt Romney's support from millions of voters - their names will be forgotten far sooner than George W. Bush or Barack Obama. So what does matter then? The picture I've just painted of life is fairly bleak. And life is fairly bleak if all we focus on is numbers and more and bigger, stronger, faster. So instead of focusing on more, what if we focused on people. On making a difference one person at a time. Can you do that? Can I do that? Would our lives be a success if we changed the life of one other person for the best? Would that be enough for us to be satisfied with what we did with the time that God gave us? Now I'm certainly not saying that we need to stop big conferences where speakers talk to crowds of people each night just because the speaker doesn't know everyone's name. No, there is a time and a place for playing the numbers game. Shoot, if all we focused on was positively impacting one person's life for the best then no one would have children - change your spouse's life for the better, call it good and skip out on changing your children's life for the better. No, that's not what I'm saying at all. But maybe instead of counting numbers first and last, maybe we ought to worry about hearts and souls first and then, when time permits, count numbers last. I've been reminded recently that there is nothing new under the sun. So instead of trying to come up with something new to say that's inspirational....I'll leave you with this quote from Teddy Roosevelt:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." Some questions have answers that only lead to more questions. It’s like recursion in programming...except I enjoy thinking about these questions, well, some of them.
What does it mean to be a man? And what does it mean to be a lady? I will admit I’ve not given as much thought to the latter as the former, probably has something to do with my XY chromosome composition. It’s easy to define a man in big, broad, abstract terms. Ideals like brave, sacrificial, humble, compassionate come to mind. (Yes, I stole that list from helping a friend write a paper on heroes last night). But what does being brave really mean? Can you truly define sacrificial? Sure, you can put words to it – words to say what it means but that doesn’t tell you how to be humble or give you an example of compassion. It’s just words; powerful but ultimately meaningless if they never progress beyond words. So we tell stories of men who were brave, who faced fear and didn’t back down. We relive moments of sacrifice when the hero put others before himself. We quietly applaud humility when a man recognizes his place and values others more. We talk of compassionate men who reach out to help those weaker and in need. We remember Sir William as he went to the arena knowing he would be arrested (A Knight’s Tale). We think of Aragorn leading his troops to the Black Gate to give Frodo one last chance to destroy the Ring (Return of the King). Our hearts leap as we watch Captain America leading the prisoners of war back to the outpost (Captain America: The First Avenger). We cling to the ultimate hero, Jesus Christ Himself, as He looks over Jerusalem and weeps for the city lost in its sin. But every man, every hero who truly is a man, who is defined as a hero has something in common. Fictional and true men alike live out their stories. It’s not enough to be brave when there’s nothing to fear, it’s not enough to be compassionate when no one is in need. Men are defined not by who people say they are when life is good, men are defined by who they are when they pass through the fires and trials. To be a man, to really be a hero...you must first pass through the crucible. Otherwise, your manhood is just words, smoke and mirrors. As I sit here wishing that the pain would go away, that I’d be rescued from my discomfort, from my circumstances...I’m reminded that “pain is God’s megaphone to a deaf world.” (C.S. Lewis). Lord, grant me the ears to hear what You have to say. Father, be with me through the fire, change me into the man You would have me be. I can’t do it myself, I need You. To all the Veteran's and those currently serving...thank you.
Road trips and life are very similar. You never know what's around the bend - a beautiful sunset or a pillar of smoke with flames licking at the bottom. There are times when you're stopped dead on the interstate and all you can do is pray as you watch a helicopter and an ambulance rush away from the scene less than half a mile in front of you. Oh, and roadkill in life or on the interstate isn't pretty. Can anyone explain to me what the attraction of wearing yoga pants in public is? I'm completely flabbergasted when I see women in yoga pants in public. Dirt in your shoes never comes out. When you're feeling down, go help someone else. Even if it doesn't make you feel better at least you know you aren't be a horrible person. Asking someone how tall they are and then saying "My boyfriend is taller" is really rather....childish. Blogging when you're tired removes many of the filters and inhibitions you usually have. Yay for editing! Procrastination on homework is a beautiful, dangerous weapon. And I'm fairly certain that I'm not trained in its use. Not that my lack of training even slows me down but... It takes a special stubbornness to make friendships last across miles. I've yet to meet anyone so gifted. Don't say something unless you mean it wholeheartedly. No matter how many times people say "I'd like your opinion on something" I'm always a little freaked out and hugely honored. There is no way to let a guy know that as a girl you're not interested in him without hurting his feelings. There probably should have been a comma at least once if not more in that last thought but alas, there's not. Forgiveness is a part of all relationships. It's a part of being human, of learning to live like Christ.
Most often when I've thought of forgiveness it's been a two person deal. One person apologizes and the other one forgives. You say you're sorry, you say what you're sorry for, what you did to hurt them, and then they say "I forgive you." While I still think that's how forgiveness ought to work between two people I think there's more to forgiveness than just that. Forgiveness is about letting the other person know that their wrong won't be held against them AND it's about you consciously deciding not to hold a wrong against someone. It's about learning to love someone after they've hurt you - love keeps no record of wrongs. Forgive and wipe their slate clean. But wiping their slate clean doesn't depend on them, does it? After all they have a different slate with each of their other friends. You don't control any of those slates, they don't control any of those slates. The only slate you control is their slate with you. They have no control over their slate with you, only you do. So when we forgive someone, when we wipe their slate clean and give to them as before...that's all on us. Forgiveness isn't meant to come after the apology - although sometimes an apology is the kick start that we need to wipe their slate clean - forgiveness is meant to come from our hearts irregardless of the other person. Forgiveness helps us love others, it helps us more than it helps the person forgiven. One act that forgiveness does not perform is taking away the pain. Forgiveness can't change the past, the pain is still there. I don't want to make forgiveness out to be the end all of relationship miracle healings. Miracles comes from God, He performs them as He sees fit. Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean that the two of you return to the status quo before the pain. Forgiveness doesn't change past pain, it sets a course for future actions. A course for actions of love and courage instead of anger or apathy. "No greater joy is there than this, to know for what we're meant to live." -Starfield Last night I was putting in some late hours at work. The joy of my job is that I get to pick my own hours, the downside is that sometimes my schedule picks the least convenient hours for me. Today is a coffee day in case you were wondering. So there I am, it's pitch black outside, the timed lights for the parking lot have turned off, and I'm listening to some Kutless worship songs cranked up. And the most amazing feeling of peace swept over me. No, work wasn't going perfectly. The music was on Youtube so the quality was a little lackluster. I can't sing along very well. My life still feels like it's been hit by a charging rhino in a lot of ways. But none of that really mattered. In those moments as I sang along out of tune and off beat, as yesterday drew closer to today...I was at peace. Right there, right then....that was where I was meant to be - working and worshiping all at the same time. I'm as certain as I can be that my calling for the late night hours of November 7th, 2012 was to be at work singing to my Savior. And you know what? I'm still smiling about it now. I truly believe that when we are at peace with God, when we have His joy in any and every circumstance, when we learn the secret of being content no matter what...our circumstances fade away. Yes, life is still life, our circumstances are still there. But in that moment when we choose the joy of the Lord to be our strength, when we worship God by enjoying His presence, when we are right with Him and the peace that surpasses all understanding is there with us, when we're content even though this world tells us that we have every reason to be upset...in that moment this world fades away in the light of God's glory and grace. To those of you who know what I'm talking about you know that no words can describe the joy, peace, hope, love, awe, and wonder in that moment. To those of you who have never had a crystal clear glimpse of God's goodness know that you are prayed for. And even when you don't feel God, He still loves you more than anyone else ever could or will. And to those of you who have been praying for me...thank You. My circumstances are still here, life is still hard but in God's light life is put into proper perspective. I think many people who run their own blogs will agree with me on this one - starting a conversation is like pulling teeth.
So, in an effort to encourage comments (yes, I'm shameless) any comment requesting the story behind a poem will lead to a "Behind the Poetry" blog post. Anyways, back to the train of thought for this blog post. Why is it that starting a conversation on a blog is so difficult? I think a lot of it has to do with the nature of the internet itself. People who comment on articles and blogs tend to be the opinionated extremists. Tend to be, but not always. I know for me that I really don't want to come across as an opinionated extremist. I'm far too opinionated for my own good, there's no need for me to dig myself further into that hole. But that doesn't explain every blog or every blog reader. So what else might add to this difficulty? Blog posts tend to be mostly coherent, conclusive thoughts. There's very little incentive to blog about something you haven't made up your mind about. Doing so invites propaganda from either side. I know for me I'd rather not deal with that propaganda and thus I blog about topics that I've thought about for a while. Topics that I can speak intelligently about without sounding wishy washy. And when there is a topic that I'm unsure of, I'd much rather talk to my friends, mentors, and family who know me and can then craft their presentation of their opinions to aspects that would matter most to me. The nature of a blog post being already thought out leads to a presentation that leaves little room for argument (unless you're strongly in disagreement and feel the need to talk about your differing view....aka opinionated extremist). So the best responses to blogs are either in agreement or questions wanting further explanation. Well, agreeing with someone through the anonymity of the internet strikes me as a pointless gesture. Now yes, there are gestures worth making just for the sake of the gesture. But those tend to be few and far between. As for the other reason, asking for further clarification tends to only happen on poorly communicated thoughts. So along that line of thought, I guess I ought to take the silence of this conversation as a complement to my writing abilities, huh? Then again, maybe fewer people read my blog than I think read my blog. And those that do are the quiet, contemplative type. In conclusion...I have no idea why starting a conversation on my blog is so hard to do. Perhaps I don't blog on topics that are conversation worthy? Perhaps my blogs are too self-centered? Perhaps my blogs are too lengthy and scare people away? A long time ago I printed out a code of chivalry that I wanted to hold myself to. Needless to say I've failed miserably on each and every one of the 15 points. But I'm constantly reminded that failure isn't what defines us - who we are is revealed by how we deal with failure. And I like to fancy myself a knight which means that I get to learn a lot from my failures in order to keep fancying myself a knight.
One of the points of my code of chivalry is that I will treat every lady with the respect and dignity she has earned by the virtue of being a lady, created by God. When I wrote that into my code of chivalry I had high and dreamy ideals of wooing a perfect 10 and letting her know just how amazing I thought she was. Not exactly what I wrote, huh? Just a few weeks after signing that code life happened. One of my close female friends was sexually assaulted. It hit me like a brick. I was ticked, I was angry, I was itching for a fight. Fortunately, God's never through with me and He used that situation to teach me two specific lessons. One - protecting my family starts now. Every girl I meet is someone's daughter. Every girl I meet has the chance to be someone's beloved. If those aren't reasons enough to treat ladies right, then I don't know what is. But more than that, the habits I set now are the habits that I'll keep for the rest of my life. If I set a habit of trusting someone else to protect a girl I don't know, then that habit will carry over into marriage and I'll expect someone else to protect my wife. That's not right. I am called to provide protection by God's strength for my family, my friends, my neighbors. That calling starts now. Not later, now. Two - protecting someone isn't abut me, it's about them. I couldn't stop the assault. Yes, I wanted to go punch the boy in the face for what he did. But that wasn't going to help my friend. Punching him wouldn't change the past. She didn't need his face beat in, she needed a friend. She needed someone to pray for her, to do what needed to be done for her, someone to set aside their own pride and put her first. In Batman's words at the end of The Dark Knight: "I am whatever Gotham needs me to be." That promise includes not being what they need you to not be. My friend needed me to not be her avenger. Trying to be her avenger wasn't going to help. But all of this doesn't explain the (slowly) part of the title. Here I am, years later and I still haven't learned these lessons. I was given an opportunity to speak up for the ladyhood of one of my friends this weekend. I did an amazing job of absolutely dropping the ball. By God's grace I realized my mistake and thanks to email I could do my best to correct my error after the fact. But the fact remains - I did not treat my friend with the dignity she has earned by the virtue of being a lady made by God. And also by God's grace, the person I was talking to didn't take what I said the wrong way; in their mind my friend's ladyhood was never in question. (Thanks God!) But just because God is gracious doesn't give me the right to mess up. As for lesson #2, I still struggle with being what people need me to be and not being what people need me to not be. I'll be the first to admit that I try to assign roles to any relationship - family, friend, business, what have you - that I am in. I like knowing who is wearing what hat when. But being what people need me to be means not wearing the hats that I want to when I want to. It means wearing the hat that God has for me to where when He wants me to wear it. So years after I wrote my code of chivalry, God is still taking me to school to teach me about what being a man means. Praise be for a God who is patient and kind, a God who is willing to love me despite of who I am There are days when I really wish my brain would stick on a topic I could blog about long enough for me to blog about it. Today was one of those days. Every long, coherent thought that I had wasn't something I can blog about.
Being treated with respect by a salesman makes me quite loyal to the store they work at. Cell phones, cars, houses...all of which you need to plan a day to buy. One of the wonderful ironies and mysteries of life is the switching of roles. Grief is good, it is necessary. Letting grief control you though...that I think is a sin. There are timeless lessons in Veggietales. Even some of the newer, not quite as good as they used to be Veggietales. My plant....the one that I blogged about a while back (what feels like years ago) is still growing. There's this struggle as a guy to appear tough and exciting while remaining sensitive and caring at the same time. Along those lines...wouldn't a flower pot made out of a deer skull just be cool? Invalid IP addresses are my nemesis. Learning to keep my mouth shut, even when I think I have really good advice, is hard. But well worth it. |
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