Someday I'll get to tell you everything. I'll get to share my stories, my failures, my weaknesses, my (actually, God's) triumphs. Someday. I cant wait to sit with you, tea in had, and let you know the journey that shaped me into who I am.
I wish I could tell you that it was easy. Truth be told, it was easier than it should have been. In so many ways I've lived a fairy tale life. I've been protected from so much by God's goodness.
Yet at the same time, my armor isn't pristine. I'm no white knight, no knight in shining armor. I've made my trips through the mud and gunk of life. I have scars that will affect you for the rest of your life. I'm sorry. I wish that I could give you perfection...but then you wouldn't be marrying me.
Truth be told, I will never be perfect. I will mess up. I will fail to love you, fail to honor you, fail to put you first. I'm sorry. Some of my mistakes can be explained by my past....but most of them will be because I'm broken and flawed - a sinner by nature and action. I am not, was not, and never will be the man you deserve.
In fact, I know of only one Man who is worthy. Only one Man is good enough to hold the heart of a lady such as you, to protect, cherish, honor, and love you.
When I fall short, when I mess up, when I fail....turn to Him. He loves you more than I could ever dare to dream.
When I succeed, when I love you as I ought, when I bless you, cherish you, protect you, honor you.....turn to Him. It is only by His grace that I can even entertain the idea of possibly succeeding in my lifelong pursuit of your heart. Turn to Him my darling, run to His arms, bury your head in His chest as He holds you tight, draws you near, and lifts you up. He will be always and only the Man you need.
He loves you. You are known by name, beloved by the King of kings, called by the Creator. I've but caught the tiniest glimpse of His love for you, the faintest glow of His overwhelmingly, powerful love for you. Let me tell you, He sees you as beautiful, as fearfully and wonderfully made, as His image bearer, His ambassador to a dark and needy world. His plans for you are incredible. More than you have ever dared to hope. He loves you so dearly, so preciously.
Through that glimpse, through that faintest peek....I've seen your beauty. It's a beauty of the heart, unchallenged by anything else in all of creation. It is a beauty of the King unique to you. Nothing else is like it. Nothing else ever has been or will be like it.
And so my dear, I will choose to see you through His eyes. Not because my eyes don't love you, but because my eyes could never love you enough. Only in Christ are you fully, perfectly loved.
Hope and grace,
-The Black Knight